Rise, Fall, Rise Again
by KatelynnBB
Summary: *ONE SHOT* One shot centered around Kylo/Ben's redemption. Give it a read because you have nothing to lose.


**Welcome dudes! This is my first (and possibly only) Star Wars fic. My husband is the Star Wars mega fan in our house. I enjoy SW but LOTR is my jam. So this fic is dedicated to him❤ Be kind to people, to yourself and to me in the reviews :-)**

**This story was built around Lost In You by Three Days Grace.**

**I don't own Star Wars or its characters.**

Ben.

Not so deep down I'd always been.

Son of Leia. Son of Han.

Han. My father. Even as I watched him fall I regretted what I'd done in my rage. I wanted to change it all. It was too late to go back, and I had to prove myself. The Dark...it called to me. Every hour. Waking or sleeping, it cared not.

Then...there was her.

A girl from nowhere with nothing. She wielded the Force. Feebly, but nonetheless. Something in her awakened something in me, and from that point...there was never any going back. And if I ever thought there was I was lying to myself.

But then again... I'd become so comfortable with that.

I spent a lot of years completely denying who I was. A son of the Light. Luke wasn't wrong in what he saw inside me. There was darkness. A...curiousity towards something that I knew wasn't the light. I lied to myself and claimed it wasn't the Dark Side. After all, how could it be?

Vader seemed like a myth at times. A scary story to caution children away from the Dark Side, but I, better than most, understood he was not. And with the call to the Dark increasingly overwhelming it was all too easy to claim Supreme leadership as my birthright.

I was a fool.

From the moment we met, Rey and I shared a connection. It came in waves. At first it angered me. Then, I tried to sway her to my side. Figuratively and literally. I offered her my hand and the chance to rule the galaxy. She wanted to accept me...

But she didn't.

_I always knew that you'd come back to get me,_  
_And you always knew that it wouldn't be easy._  
_To go back to the start to see where it all began,_  
_Or end up at the bottom to watch how it all ends._

_You tried to lie and say I was everything._  
_I remember when I said "I'm nothing without you"._  
_I'm nothing without you..._

_Somehow I found a way to get lost in you._  
_Let me inside,_  
_Let me get close to you._  
_Change your mind._  
_I'll get lost if you want me to,_  
_Somehow I found a way to get lost in you..._

The Light was strong within her, and I wondered if it had ever been that strong within me. I couldn't see past the haze of hatred and betrayal I'd been living in. Maybe there was once a time when I was filled with Light, but I couldn't rememeber.

This was what I was. A lot of things, but mostly...broken. Hollow. Rey and I were on a set course now. There was no way to stop what destiny had decided for us. Our paths were chosen. Intimate moments through our Force connection became more and more common until I found myself accepting what she had to say.

The waves of emotion pulled me under, pulled me towards her. They swallowed my hate and whatever Dark was left in me slowly began to dissipate. I fought it, I fought it so hard.

With my mother's voice inside my head I lost my focus. But it wasn't only me...Rey felt her. The life force drained from my mother and all seemed...lost.

"Leia." Rey whispers.

Now all our moments had lead us back to each other.

Her kneeling over me, staring at the saber wound in my gut. Then, she did something I never saw coming. She placed her hand on me and healed the wound she had only just created. Suddenly, I could breathe again. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I knew then, what I'd known all along...I loved her.

_You always thought that I left myself open,_  
_But you didn't know I was already broken._  
_I told myself that it wouldn't be so bad,_  
_But pulling away it took everything I had._

"I did want to take your hand."

Her voice cuts through the crash of the waves. I see her. I hear her, above it all. She leans close.

"Ben's hand."

Then, in an instant she is gone. In those next moments I feel...reborn. I know now, Rey has killed whatever Dark there was in me, with help from my mother. Now I have a desicion to m"Hey, kid."

A strong, familiar voice floating over the crashing waves. My father. I had longed for, and feared this moment. I wasn't sure if I had enough courage to face him. Even as a memory. There was still...tremendous guilt.

Self hatred.

"Kylo Ren is dead. My son is alive."

And suddenly...I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. I need Rey. I need to get to her. I'm ready to join the Light.

I throw my saber into the tumultuous sea.

I can breathe again.

My journey has lead me to Exegol once again. This time, however I'm here to fight. The Knights of Ren surround me. They're closing in and I'm desperate to get to Rey. Because I have to save her. I have to help her. I have to tell her...I'm sorry.

Now I must fight. With no weapon. _Great_.

And then, suddenly, softly, I feel her. Our Force connection, our bond. She passes her lightsaber to me. I grip it.

And fight.

It never occured to me that I was using Luke's lightsaber, but it does now. I can feel the Force flowing through me. All the Light. All the hope of the galaxy. And Rey. I think I've longed to feel the Light...I must have because this feels so right. I have a purpose and a power unlike which I've ever felt before.

"Stand together. DIE together!" Palpatine shrieks as he brings us to our knees before him. "As once I fell...so falls the last Skywalker!"

The last thought I have before being flown off the cliff's edge is of Rey. If this is it...I never got to tell her everything.

_I remember when I said "I'm nothing without you"_  
_ I'm nothing without you..._

_ Somehow I found a way to get lost in you_  
_ Let me inside_  
_ Let me get close to you_  
_ Change your mind_  
_ I'll get lost if you want me to_  
_ Somehow I found a way to get lost in you_  
_ In you..._

The world is deafening around me as I slowly open my eyes. My body aches. My ears are ringing. My-

_Rey_.

I make my way up to her. There she is...I see her.

Motionless.

The life is draining from her. She's not breathing. I hold her. My mind is so clouded until, I realize what I must do. Calming myself I place my hand on her stomach and slowly channel my life Force into her. Maybe this is what my purpose was all along. I will gladly and willingly give my life for hers.

_The pain of it all, the rise and the fall_  
_ I see it all in you_  
_ Now everyday I find myself say_  
_ "I want to get lost in you"_  
_ I'm nothing without you..._

I feel her chest rise and fall with the breath of life. She sits up in my arms. It feels amazing to be holding her this close in the flesh.

"Ben."

She smiles, I smile and then she kisses me.

So many years of feeling lost and unworthy melt away against her lips. I feel complete and whole for the first time in my life. Then, I start to feel weak and suddenly Rey's face is fading from my sight.

Then everything fades to black.

**Thank you to anyone who read this! I appreciate it so much! Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts. **


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